Well, that was a very creative name for a rather important chapter. See, one thing that we always try to use as an excuse for not loving ourselves is other people. It can be our kids, our parents, our partners, and anyone else we care about, really.

It is amazing that you have these loving, caring, and emotionally beautiful feelings for other souls and human beings in this galaxy. That you want them to be so happy, that you are willing to completely ignore your own body, soul, and even mind (This last one is also the one helping you with the job).

Disclaimer: I love my family, my kids, my parents. Before I continue writing, I want this to be crystal clear!

Now that they will not take any offense because I made the disclaimer, and they could read it, we can get to the bottom of the matter. You should stop caring so damn much about them, and start caring a little more about yourself.

Let’s do this. Let’s imagine a completely made-up, totally hypothetical, and most likely very rare scenario of a mother who loves her 20-year-old son very much indeed. She wants him to be happy, successful, financially stable, to have a gorgeous wife, kids, and of course - the cherry on top - spiritually enlightened (with all karma cleared).

How does she choose to organize this beautiful life of his? Well, of course, she is going to do it by organizing the best possible cushion of support for him. That makes sense, right? We try to do our best.

In this particular scenario, she decides that the best way to provide said “cushion” is to make sure he has everything he needs in life, and close at hand. To do this, she thinks it is best if they share a flat with her, so that her son does not have to worry about the rent. To make sure he does not need to pay the aforementioned rent, she works a job she totally hates - let’s pick something totally random and often used in these cases - accounting (in reality, and outside of this totally made-up character story, some people really do love accounting and should keep doing it). She hates the job, but it covers the rent, and allows her son to “thrive” by not having to bother with rent.

Of course, he needs some “emotional support” too. So, when she is beat-up, tired, and complaining of all life (including all the politicians), she thinks it’s a good time to give her son some ĺectures on life. Thus, she tries to constantly suggest … blah blah… fuck I am tired of writing. Need to get some sleep. Be back in a few.

Well, that was an instant for you, but two weeks for me. But now, I am totally fresh and ready to go. Where were we? Oh, right. The mother. Well, I think you get the point, don’t you? I really don’t want to give you fifteen more examples of where she sacrifices her life in order to make her son’s life “better”.

Let’s entertain the alternative. The mother decides, you know what, enough is enough. It is time for me to be who I was always destined to be. One morning, she realized that she always wanted to sing, but was told at the age of nine that she was bad at it by a rather traumatized teacher, who clearly did not take enough psychedelics to discover his true self (they were much harder to get back then, yes, it is an imaginary story but the timeline is somewhat equal to the time of writing), so he knew nothing better than to make himself feel better by pointing out the flaws of others. Pro tip - don’t do that to other beings.

Anyhow, she realized that maybe, just maybe - he (or she, they, them, it, unknown, undefined, not-yet-discovered) - radical thought incoming - was wrong. So, on that fateful morning, she goes online and finds a nearby singing group, joins them, and starts singing daily.

This affects her mood; she starts thinking that in order to sing better, she needs to start eating a little healthier. She stops policing her son on his diet and starts taking care of her own. Not because some book told her to do so, but because it helps her to be herself, her true self.

Within a few months, she holds her first small concert for a family of dear friends and a dog. Everyone loved it! Except for the dog, but we will not get into that. The rest - I am sure you can imagine. Bigger and bigger concerts, fame, glory, big labels, etc. Perhaps she will need to deal with a few new demons too - how to reflect all the negative press, deal with publicity on the streets, and much more, but overall - she leads her best life and does exactly what her soul wanted her to do all along, and was trying to tell her all this time.

Now, with your hand on your heart, which of the two mothers do you really think will be the better one for their son that they love? Which of the two mothers will truly teach their son to love themselves, and to pursue his true life? Which of the two mothers will be the inspiration and role model for him? Think carefully.

The accountant. Right? You picked the accountant. People always do. Beats me.

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I am sure in your life, you have a countless number of people who are:

• Staying together with their partner, whom they can barely stand, for the next 5 years, just until the kids get older.

• Not pursuing their dream job just yet, because they have a plan to do it in 2 years after they have saved up enough cash, to feel safe.

• Not buying the ticket to visit the country that every fibre of their being is telling them to visit. Not going to Vipassana until they are done with antidepressants. Not starting to read that ‘very helpful’, but useless book that her friend recommended.

They delay, they sacrifice, they come up with excuses and reasons not to start living their lives. Please, do not be that person. You do not need yet another book to tell you to start living your life. You do not need to listen to my arguments, just look into your heart, and find the love for yourself that you absolutely 100% have, to start doing that which your inner being, soul, child (call it whatever you want) is asking you to do. They would not wish anything bad for you. Do it for me, for you, for the universe, for your children or parents, or whatever reason you need to come up with, but do it. Today.